Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Learning to live again

I have a project I should be getting started on, but what am I doing? Writing my first blog post.

Nearly a year and a half ago, I posted on Facebook that I was toying around with the idea of blogging. An acquaintance offered to help me get started, but I declined. "I'm too busy." That's been my mantra for the last three years. And at that time it really was true. But this weekend I realized that it's not really true. I'm not always "too busy." It's just become a convenient excuse for getting out of things I don't want to do and for being a horrid time manager.

Recently some things have happened in my life that have granted me more free time than I previously had. I'm trying to get myself motivated to take control of my life again and start being a better housekeeper, a better wife and a more productive employee. But it's hard, yo.

In the midst of all this, I'm trying to learn to live again. I remember the first few years the Big Guy and I were married, I had time to do nearly everything I wanted to do. My house was tidy and clean. Laundry was done and put away. I read books...often. I saw at least one of my girlfriends almost daily. On the weekends, my girlfriends and I would cook and bake and play. Sometimes on weeknights too. If I sat down to watch TV, I often worked on a project simultaneously - copying down recipes, doing cross-stitch, organizing photos.

So why don't I do any of this anymore? Why is everything such a chore? I'm pretty sure depression has something to do with it, but I refuse to go to the doctor, who will likely just want to give me a pill for it. So I'm going to start blogging. And cleaning house. And cooking up a storm. And taking walks. And reading books. And just trying to learn to live again in general.

Step one: Post this blog.


  1. Love this post...why do we let life become a chore? I just love you and Rachel both. I feel like you are really great examples of how to prioritize and how to go for it even if success is not guaranteed. I also REALLY appreciated your insight on DINKs and how everyone thinks it's their business how you live. For the longest time, I did not want kids just because. No hard and fast reason but parenthood did not speak to me. Bethany was completely unplanned but it amazes me where motherhood has taken me and how much I truly enjoy it. BUT many days I look back and think if I didn't have to lose my kids and still got to live a life without them, where would I be? Somewhere REALLY different, for sure. I could not bear to not have my kids now but I still completely agree with the girl/woman that I was way back then thinking, "I don't know that being a parent is the right kind of reward and motivation for my life." Sounds kind of horrible but it is like that was a different life that is no reflection on the life I have now. No regrets here just musings. You're going to be an awesome blogger! I can't wait to journey with you and Rachel through the blogs. I feel like I hit the jackpot today!

    1. Thanks for the kind words, Tiffany! We all do have our own story to tell, don't we? Thank you for sharing yours. One day I'll tell you mine, but I'm not quite ready to put it out here on the blog yet. I'm so glad you'll be reading, and I'm looking forward to having you on this adventure with me!